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Thursday, February 05, 2009

HOW DUMB DO THEY THINK I AM????

I'll take a wild guess and say I must get 50-75 of these asshat letters in my spam folder everyday. I have read on numerous occasions where people actually respond to these things and then piss and moan because they have been defrauded. No shit shylock! If I receive an official looking email, with grammatical errors out the wazoo - I can only look it over, laugh and hit DELETE!!

I honestly cannot understand how the Algoreinternet...cannot just stop these intrusive type of mailings to be sent. Damn, those Nigerians are desperate people I guess. But thankfully, I did not just fall off the turnip truck.

Thedaughter gets offers in the mail for various credit cards and gets excited...I have to explain the necessity of reading the MICRO print to ensure she tears the damn thing into little pieces and tosses it in the garbage.

Does anyone else get inundated with these stupid emails? Hopefully it is not just me! If you have never received one - here is a prime example of what I have to discard daily. I've highlighted a few grammatical errors for shits and giggles.


SO READ ON AN LAUGH!!






FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, D.C.
20535-0001

Attn: Beneficiary,


with the supporting evidence before the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in respect to your long awaited payment. We wish to inform you that we have thoroughly Investigated you payment matter with the help of our Global Financial Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic
Bank, Zenith Banks, Kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of Fedex, Ibrahim Sule, Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation (FBI). This payment has been delayed severally by these same groups. During our Investigation over your payment, we found out that the reason why you have not received your payment was because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Payment and at the same time you have choose to deal with the wrong people over your payment. Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a lasting
solution to your problem by normalizing in your favor a part payment in total of $3,500.000.00 USD in an ATM CARD for this first quarter of this fiscal year. You can use your ATM CARD to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured that this is 100% risk free, it is our duty to protect and fight crimes. All I want
you to do is to contact the approved and appointed ATM CARD CENTER on their below stated email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $160.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATION

NAME: Mr. Ayo Benson
Tel:
+234-807-561-4512
EMAIL:atmcard_unit@sify.com or atm.card_unit@live.com

Do contact Mr. Ayo Benson of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:

FULL NAME:
HOME
ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:

So your payment file would be updated after which he will send the payment information's which you'll use in making payment of $160.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further charges or delay. Please if you know you cannot be able to afford the $160 for your payment Approval Slip of your then
do not bother to contact Mr.Ayo Benson.
We advise you to get back to this office after you must have contacted the ATM CARD CENTER so that we can make sure that your ATM CARD gets to you unfailingly. Your earliest compliance to this notice will put you at advantage.

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr.Ayo Benson of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we can have him/her investigated and apprehended.

Best Regards,
Robert S. Mueller, III



I must remember to someday send/forward a copy to Muellers's FBI office - just in case he missed what his signature is on. hahahahaha!

This is the best I can do at the moment - I have quite a few tax returns to work on here. Have a good one and I'll be back....later..................

2 comments:

kenju said...

I have gotten a few like that, but I never get anywhere near 50 spam emails per day! It's more like 12-15.

Nan said...

The really strange spam, the obvious phishing and other weirdness, always seem to come to my work e-mail. Nigerians must think federal employees are all dumber than the proverbial box of rocks.

Then again, considering what's been happening in the financial sector in recent years, maybe they think we're all like those guys working at the SEC. ;-)