This is sure to be a new version for the sick and twisted, during the Holiday season. I definitely know it works for me...so don't let the kiddies enjoy my demented sense of humor!!
It was the night before Christmas,
When all thru the house,
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse,
Grandpa and Grandma were singing a song
and the Kid was in bed flogging his dong......
***
Ma home from the cathouse,
and I out of jail, had just settled down for a good piece of tail....
When out on the lawn there arouse such a clatter,
I jumped off Ma to see what was the matter...
***
Away to the window I made a mad dash,
Threw open the window and fell on my ass...
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
but a rusty old sleigh and a dozen reindeer...
***
With a little old driver holding his prick,
I knew in a moment that bastard was Nick.
Slower than snails, his charges they came...
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name....
***
"Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls,
Quick now, Damnit, or I'll cut off your balls...
Then up on the roof, he stumbled and fell,
and came down the chimney, like a bat out of hell...
***
He staggered and stumbled and went to the door....
He tripped on his cock and fell to the floor,
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Piss on you all...It's been a hell of a night..."
6 comments:
I remember this poem from my mis-spent youth. Seems like it was a little longer, but I don't remember how the other verses went. They say when you get older the memory is the first thing to go and I forget what the second thing is.
So it's safe to say that you've been naughty and not nice?
Like they say, there's always TWO sides to every story!
MNMOM - that made me laugh harder.
Thanks THEMOM, I never saw this before it is funny. sick, but funny.
Have mercy! Good thing Santa's too busy delivering bail out tax dollars to Wall Street to switch you to the naughty list!
Ha! This was great!
Merry Christmas!
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