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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Do not have me committed....but just a thought...

As I just blogged about a local family's fire, and I did refer to the fire that destroyed our home in 1984...it brought back something I just want to get out. Not my fire itself, what I feel was a "premonition" in a way.

We all have dreams, good, bad, funny, sad and recurring. Recurring dreams often reflect a personal fear, traumatic event possibly, but usually they remain constant or become enhanced in some way.

I had a recurring dream from the time when I was maybe 8 years old. It was vivid, always the same and very frightening. After quite a few years, I became used to this dream, as I always knew there was NO end or conclusion, it just stopped...as I made myself awaken. Bear with me and I will walk you through this dream. First I will lay some ground work.

Our family built our home in 1957, it was a red brick colonial, with enormous white pillars to the main entrance. Going through school, I was taunted by students that I "lived in a mansion", but it was just home to me. There were 4 bedrooms upstairs, my twin sister and I had a huge room in the front of the house, three baths, finished basement, integral 2 car garage - just huge by '50's standards. The main staircase was located in the central part of the house, and at the top, you could take 2 steps to either the left or the right, but still access all bedrooms and baths. To this day, I could diagram every nook and cranny in that house.

OK, on to the dream. I would be asleep in this shared bedroom, and bells would be sounding, not loud, but constant. I would be looking out each window (there were three) to see if I could locate this sound and finally I would see this huge figure, coming towards the house and it was like a carnival stilted man - only dressed as Uncle Sam. Don't ask me, I have no clue why Uncle Sam would be after me.

As he approached the house, he seemed to get larger, to the point when he was directly in front of the house, he could bend over and peer into the windows. I would try to get away but he would just reappear in another window. I would be crying and asking what he wanted, but there were never any responses. This continued, it seemed for hours. Slowly, the room would be getting brighter and brighter. Thinking daylight was upon me, I wasn't really paying much attention. This is when Uncle Sam would start poking on the windows, finally breaking the glass and reaching in to take me out through this opening. I would then look behind, into the room and there were flames everywhere - he was trying to get me away from the flames. My sister's bed would be empty - so I knew she got out..........and that was how it always ended.

It almost became an automatic response from me, and I would tell people that I knew how I was going to die...in a fire. That was how this recurring dream impacted my life. Of course, it was laughed off by just about everyone, to the point I just put up with the constant nightmare and never mentioned it again. At least until May 15, 1984.

After, I had gotten everyone out of our house, while it was burning, I did refer to this dream. Again, people were quite dismissive of such as a premonition...but as an epilogue...I have never had that dream again...not once.


Nan said...

Then again, and not to dismiss premonitions because part of me is willing to believe they can happen, maybe the dream expressed a subconscious fear. Once you had experienced that particular fear for real and survived your mind no longer needed to dwell on it.

Liberality said...

We survived a fire in the 1960s and I barely got out alive. It was dark except by the actual fire, because the smoke made it so. My reoccurring dream dealt with my molester as a young child but going to therapy for years finally helped me quit having those dreams.

Mnmom said...

Interesting! I'm thinking what Nan said. But also, I'm thinking about what's called a "self-fulfilling prophecy" wherein you actually bring about your worst fesr, merely by dwelling on it. Then again, it could be premonition. I don't discount that because we humans know so little about time/space issues and the power of our own minds.

I hope dreams aren't premonitions because I've had some doozies!!!!