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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Ran across this...still funny!

Just happened to be rambling around the house and I found a copy of a letter theson had written when he was in New York in 2002, and it still makes me laugh today...here goes...

Clifton Park, NY 12065

City of Schenectady
Parking Violations Bureau
Schenectady Police Department
531 Liberty Street
Schenectady NY 12305

Dear Sir or Madam:

Earlier this afternoon (January 29th), I ventured into Schenectady to go to the Schenectady Post Office to take care of some brief business. Being New York, I understand that rules will differ from place to place, which was first evidenced by the parking meter that took only quarters and tokens. Before one parks there, there are no notices/signs/billboards warning "Possible Inconvenience Ahead – Park ONLY If You Have Quarters (or Tokens)". For those of us lucky enough to have a shiny 25¢ piece in their pocket, the day can go on superbly. Still, for those of us, the huddled masses, burdened by dull nickels and tarnished dimes, possibly even ratty old dollars, a grim shadow falls on our shoulders. "Where can we peddle our measly dimes and half-dimes for these majestic bartering pieces?" we ask…but there is no answer, no map, not even a token-colored brick road to lead us to parking salvation.

I1 weighed the options. I could…
1. Track down a Token Fairy
2. Sell my body on the corner for Tokens (but that just seemed wrong)
3. Hurry inside and get business done before I feel the Wrath of the Meter Militia

So, I bounded up the stairs to the Post Office and waited in line, fear tearing through my bones. My business was done after 4 minutes (+/- 1 minute), and I dashed outside only to see Mr. MacGregor, Meter Militia's most feared soldier, reaching over my car. In the vein of online ticket services, HE summoned me to pay the 25¢ plus a $9.75 Transaction Convenience Fee2 . A moment passed, then he strode away. I whispered (in a surprisingly good Scottish accent)…

"To You, MacGregor, the Battle…to Me, the War."


No, but seriously, what is one to do? Are there drive-thru token joints or something in Schenectady? Officer MacGregor informed me that I can get tokens at City Hall, but I'd have to park to get there (more than likely instigating the Meter Militia to swoop down on me again). And I didn't need a thousand, nay, a hundred, nay, not even a dozen tokens, I needed one. I could see no change machines in the area either (and they would've had to have been drive-thrus too). Well I hope I've given you a laugh at least.

Forever & Gone.



1 Now wishing to differentiate myself from aforementioned huddled masses, so that they bear not the brunt of my precarious actions.

2 DAMN you TicketMaster!!! And all those who mimic you!

I have been watching a few of the "PARKING WARS" shows on A&E and just makes his letter the more humorous. He is very fortunate that his car was not impounded at that time. As usual, his sense of humor shone through and he reluctantly paid the tariff!

Theson just called me from Egypt and Chump had contacted him about not being measured for his tux for the 4-12-08 wedding. So I rummaged around theson's room and found the receipt and then contacted the Tux shop - yes, his measurements are in the system...but apparently one computer is not communicating with the other. This could be interesting. But I have assured
Chump that if their tuxedos aren't there - theson has a spare kilt.

Back to work now - TTFN all!

1 comment:

Chickie said...

I like Parking Wars too. I think I would be a good Meter Maid.