Ran across this...still funny!

Just happened to be rambling around the house and I found a copy of a letter theson had written when he was in New York in 2002, and it still makes me laugh today...here goes...

Theson
Clifton Park, NY 12065


City of Schenectady
Parking Violations Bureau
Schenectady Police Department
531 Liberty Street
Schenectady NY 12305

Dear Sir or Madam:

Earlier this afternoon (January 29th), I ventured into Schenectady to go to the Schenectady Post Office to take care of some brief business. Being New York, I understand that rules will differ from place to place, which was first evidenced by the parking meter that took only quarters and tokens. Before one parks there, there are no notices/signs/billboards warning "Possible Inconvenience Ahead – Park ONLY If You Have Quarters (or Tokens)". For those of us lucky enough to have a shiny 25¢ piece in their pocket, the day can go on superbly. Still, for those of us, the huddled masses, burdened by dull nickels and tarnished dimes, possibly even ratty old dollars, a grim shadow falls on our shoulders. "Where can we peddle our measly dimes and half-dimes for these majestic bartering pieces?" we ask…but there is no answer, no map, not even a token-colored brick road to lead us to parking salvation.

I1 weighed the options. I could…
1. Track down a Token Fairy
2. Sell my body on the corner for Tokens (but that just seemed wrong)
3. Hurry inside and get business done before I feel the Wrath of the Meter Militia

So, I bounded up the stairs to the Post Office and waited in line, fear tearing through my bones. My business was done after 4 minutes (+/- 1 minute), and I dashed outside only to see Mr. MacGregor, Meter Militia's most feared soldier, reaching over my car. In the vein of online ticket services, HE summoned me to pay the 25¢ plus a $9.75 Transaction Convenience Fee2 . A moment passed, then he strode away. I whispered (in a surprisingly good Scottish accent)…

"To You, MacGregor, the Battle…to Me, the War."

__________________________________________________________________________________

No, but seriously, what is one to do? Are there drive-thru token joints or something in Schenectady? Officer MacGregor informed me that I can get tokens at City Hall, but I'd have to park to get there (more than likely instigating the Meter Militia to swoop down on me again). And I didn't need a thousand, nay, a hundred, nay, not even a dozen tokens, I needed one. I could see no change machines in the area either (and they would've had to have been drive-thrus too). Well I hope I've given you a laugh at least.


Forever & Gone.

Theson

_____________________________


1 Now wishing to differentiate myself from aforementioned huddled masses, so that they bear not the brunt of my precarious actions.

2 DAMN you TicketMaster!!! And all those who mimic you!

I have been watching a few of the "PARKING WARS" shows on A&E and just makes his letter the more humorous. He is very fortunate that his car was not impounded at that time. As usual, his sense of humor shone through and he reluctantly paid the tariff!

Theson just called me from Egypt and Chump had contacted him about not being measured for his tux for the 4-12-08 wedding. So I rummaged around theson's room and found the receipt and then contacted the Tux shop - yes, his measurements are in the system...but apparently one computer is not communicating with the other. This could be interesting. But I have assured
Chump that if their tuxedos aren't there - theson has a spare kilt.

Back to work now - TTFN all!

What a lazy, sneaky HOUND!!

Our lovely dog, Angel, really has to be one of the best pets we have ever had. Someone dropped her in the neighborhood when she was a few months old (probably because she is a female), and she adopted us.

Since it has been so cold, my weird house has NO cold air returns upstairs, so thedaughter and thegrandson sort of "camp out" in living room on super cold nights. Also, thedaughter is not quick on "redding" up her bedding, and also I didn't make the mess, it remains on the floor till she gets home from work. If I have clients coming, I will pick it all up, if not I keep on working.

Anyway, Angel now thinks that all this bedding is there for her - and even a pillow for her head!


She has a perfectly adequate blanket in my bedroom, which she has chewed a hole in (don't know when, because she actually chews nothing)! When I get ready for bed, she comes in and goes to sleep on her blanket, unless psycho kitty gets there first. Since Angel is a passive critter, she refuses to devour the nasty feline. I do believe the next few nights are not going to be as cold - so the "children" can retire to their room upstairs again.



I have to get back to work now, the grandson has taken a lot of my time - he just had to have blueberry muffins - so they are cooling on the counter for him. He wants to get on the computer, but he does not understand that my work involves ME utilizing MY computer at the moment. So he's mad at me.

Later guys...behave and get better or stay well. TTFN!

GLOBAL WARMING - Missing us!?!?!

The SNOW started about 7:30 last evening, and only picked up "speed" till at least 3 a.m. this morning. At one point the powder was coming down at the rate of 1/2" an hour. Although the heavy snow has subsequently stopped, we are now getting an icy rain. LOVELY!! Our street was plowed by "neighbors" on 4 wheelers from midnight till about 2 am. We have yet to see a city snowplow - and since schools were finally cancelled at 6:30 am, they will take their good old time hitting the streets in our area.


Thedaughter has been out, clearing the snow off her car in order to head to work, but this becomes a quandary also - the county has issued a Level 3 - which means you can be cited for driving on the roads unless with permission or an emergency. Since thedaughter has just started her new job - she doesn't want anyone to question if she would call off. Bureaucracy sucks!! A bunch of over-paid idiots making rules and regulations without considering any backlash or repercussions. Oh well, she is on her way and will call me when she makes it to work.

Since school has now been cancelled, I am in "babysitting" mode. Thank heavens, thegrandson entertains himself so well. Also, the fact that he has more toys and games than most, the PS2 and PSP will keep him occupied for awhile. He is also into Lego creations. Did I spell that right? Hmmm... I may be able to get some tax returns completed after all.

I am going to take theson up on his offer of flying me to Cairo, Egypt. It is a place I would never go on my own and will never have the opportunity again...so what the hell. As long as it is sunny and I can relax - could be super.

I know some of my fellow bloggers are being struck down with this nasty flu- and wish them all a speedy recovery. Knock wood, I haven't been attacked yet - and I didn't get my flu shot this year - which means nothing since the vaccine was not suitable for the strain knocking everyone to the ground. So everyone drink your OJ and take your vitamins and regain your health!!! A certain person is even getting "skinny ankles" from this bug (and you know who you are).

Have a good day and try TO STAY HEALTHY. TTFN!

Any Other Mutants Out There???

This picture isn't the best, but I have always had this "brown" spot in my eye, and in certain lighting situations - it really is quite noticeable.

Having had this "mutation" allllllll my life, I never think about it till I either see a picture where it stands out, or someone comments on the fact.

**** Thedaughter just informed me I must be brain dead to blog about "my eye!" I honestly think she may be right this time.

My demented husband thought (or at least he told me) my brown spot was sexy and weird all at the same time. Since I was a twin, I told him the genes were all screwed up somewhere along the line - and my eye color was in doubt apparently.

Enough of this crap already - just popped into my head and to the blog I went.

Theson emailed me from Cairo, Egypt wanting me to obtain an absentee ballot for him - Ohio's Primary is March 4th. Now, not as if this is late or anything, I assumed (bad idea) that I could go to the Election Board and get a ballot and FedEx it to theson and he would fill it out, and return as soon as possible. HELL NO!!! He has to "APPLY" for the absentee ballot - although I explained that I have his Power of Attorney, I was informed that it was no good in applying for a ballot. Bullshit! Then one of the women begins asking me "why did he wait so long?" To which I replied - "to drive me NUTS!" Note, I do not like this woman anyway - and would have preferred she just butt out.

Another woman is telling me that he can download the form from their website and then mail the application back to their office. I am not stupid by any means, but are they missing the fact that I said he was in Egypt and "time" is a major factor here? ELECTION DAY IS IN 2 WEEKS!!! After much BS'ing and stupid rhetoric - I asked - what is the deadline for counting absentee ballots? Answer: TWENTY DAYS AFTER ELECTION DATE! Now, the morons could have told me that initially - then I would not have had to get my blood pressure involved. My tolerance for idiots is so terribly low - I should probably take medication for that.

Needless to say, the process is now underway, via the internet (I also explained that major internet lines had been severed, and Africa was one of the countries suffering) - and moron at window said "Oh, I have been cooped up here for the past 5 days I hadn't heard!" Of course not - it happened 2 weeks ago MORON!!!

Enough garbage spewed for now - everyone stay well (I know I hear coughing and sneezing from a lot of blogs lately) and TTFN!!

BLUE MAN GROUP - FANTASTIC, AWESOME!!!

Theson got me 4 tickets to the Blue Man Group Megastar 2.1, which is on tour, and performed in Wheeling, WV on Tuesday (2/12). I asked 2 of my friends and thedaughter2 - and we were all totally thrilled. This was one birthday present I will remember for quite some time. The link above has some pics I took, but thedaughter2 has some really great pics and I will download them to that site soon, I hope.

We made arrangements to eat dinner at River City Ale Works before the show, figuring we would get a good parking space and leisurely stroll to the Civic Center. Well hell, it happened to snow almost 4 inches earlier in the day, mixed with ICE. I was picking up my neighbor and my other friend, lives in Bethlehem (across the river and on a HILL) and was afraid to drive, so I had to pick her up also. I am sooooo not a winter driver anymore...the heart races and fear sets in. But I went slowly and mastered the roads. Thedaughter2 had to take her son to the doctor earlier in the day, so was running a little late (no problem) and met us at the restaurant. Amazing how many people had the same great idea as me - to eat at this particular place, within walking distance to the event.

We waited about a half an hour for a table, and we should have known everything was going downhill, when the little moronic hostess, led us - almost - to a table for 4, and said "wait here, I'll be back." Now, we are hovering over a group of diners, looking so stupid, when I just told the other diners, they would have to share with us - that lightened the moment. Dumb hostess reaapears, and - now we can sit at the table we were told to stand beside - DUH!?!?!

Three of us carried are Cokes with us from the bar area, and as soon as we were seated, moronic waitress appears and asks "are you ready to order?" Let's see, I didn't take a poll, but I'm pretty sure none of us at the table were speed readers, and I politely said, "give us a minute please." Thedaughter2 did ask for a Coke though, so at least moronic waitress had a task at hand. After another 10 minutes, we finally ordered. We now engaged in small talk and passed the time amiably, a half hour passes, and we occassionally catch a glimpse of moronic waitress, at a distance. Short of tripping her, we finally were able to ask if our meals would be coming soon, to which she replied, "they are probably up!"
All righty then....amazingly here comes young man, who looks like he was just pulled off the street as he passed by, with our meals.

Thedaughter2 was unable to eat her Southwest chicken - super dry and hard also minus the specified toppings - I asked for baked potato minus rice - that didn't happen. Visits from moronic waitress were non-existant...thedaughter2 and I have such short fuses when it comes to BAD service...we were already griping about locating a manager. FINALLY moronic waitress returns and we explain problems, she leaves and returns, stating that thedaughter 2 would only have to pay for her Coke, and the same for me --- but oh wait a minute...she didn't bring me a Coke, I had brought my Coke from the bar for which I had already paid. Oh shit - just shoot me now - I'm going to go Irish on the management. We are now waiting for moronic waitress to return, toe tapping, fingers drumming on table...lalalalala...not happening.

I lead the march to the front of the restaurant to ask for a manager, finally having this "teenage" looking young man coming to me. We explained the problem, and he said "it was her first day and we just sort of threw her out there.." such a lame excuse, since I had heard that 3 others were also having their "first day". Needless to say, they are shaking in their boots, since we told them how lousy everything was and we would never come back (they are re-working their business plan as we speak, I'm sure.)

All in all, we made it to the show just on time and started getting into the music and the humor. The 2 hours seemed to fly so quickly, I was amazed - and ready for more. They get you involved by using your cell phones and thru text messages. Thedaughter2 and I were furiously answering the texts, while friends looked on in amazement - friends aren't technically challenged, just technically challenged. Thedaughter2's husband applied to Blue Man Group some time ago, for a job as drummer and after seeing the group and knowing son-in-law - he would be perfect. Does that mean I could possibly be a "roadie?" Cool.

Enough blathering on, I was delighted, excited and totally enthralled. If anyone has a chance - don't miss seeing this group perform.

Back to tax work now..oh and...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY all.

Stay healthy and well...TTFN.

**just a note, I worked food service and do not arbitrarily go off on bad service...just exceptionally bad service.

There's STUPID, INSANELY STUPID...then ME!

This disgusting mess resulted after I blew out a 9 oz. jar candle, and I was waving the smoke away with my hand, and...belted that damn candle across the kitchen.



The first picture is the "side" of my pie safe which I use as a pantry and also where I had placed the frigging candle. The next picture is the wall beside the pie safe, on to the kitchen counter and was all over the once clean dishes. The final shot is the front of the dishwasher.

I have most of it cleaned up (or scraped up), and thedaughter tackled the floor and fronts of cabinets. I now have most of the shit off my dishwasher, but will be cleaning it for days, I'm sure.
Oh, and I just loved having to re-wash all the cursed dishes again also.

It must be old age, but I let everything worry me. Earlier this week, we were on "flooded basement" watch, as we have had torrential rains and flood warnings for days. This makes for sleepless nights...my heart starts racing - guess "anxiety attacks" is a better description. When facing a calamity I have no problems, but to sit and wait for one to happen is downright torture. And my touch of OCD, lets this WAX debacle really set me off. Thedaughter is like, "sit down and relax, we'll get it!" But I have to tackle it RIGHT NOW! Of course I have to bitch and squawk the entire time too. I am truly a delight to be around.

Since it is tax season and I am set up in my kitchen, I like to have it all straightened up - ALL the time. So that entails double duty. Needless to say, after dealing with this shit, I am doing no more returns for the day - how could I - after scraping all this wax off and scrubbing - I HAD TO REDO MY NAIL POLISH!! I am such a bitch.

Think I'll find some kind of pill to take...everyone stay healthy and TTFN.

ALL Good Things Must End - CRAP!!

I actually enjoyed getting up in the mornings again and going to work, but we were so good, the job has been completed and no more big paychecks. Shite!!! Oh well, tax season is upon me and I have a backlog already of clients wanting their BIG BUCKS back! Funny thing is, they all say the same thing - "work your magic", but I have no magic, I just know what you can write off and encourage them to take it all! I went to Staples yesterday for supplies, and was shocked how much everything has increased in cost. Too many trees have been burned - because paper has gone from $23/case to $35/case - this sucks!! I haven't raised my prices in several years - guess I'm going to have to this year.

Thedaughter had a semi-makeover yesterday. She hasn't changed her hairstyle - EVER - and Daughter2 and I took her to a salon for the big change. She had her hair colored, cut and styled. She is so NOT girly - but this "do" will take very little care - and she LOVES IT!!


Thedaughter had her hair "THINNED" slightly (asked if they could transplant her extras to mine - nope!) and the chunky streaks are fantastic. She couldn't wait to show it off to her friends last night - consensus was "Great!" It is an inverted cut (shorter in the back) and she would actually like to have the back shortened some more. All in all, I think it was a great move for her. It is definitely a good look also. More pics of the "process" are here.


She is going to hate me for one of these pics - too bad!!

OK - gonna watch the Super Bowl - go GIANTS!!! One can only hope.

Everyone stay healthy and TTFN!