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Thursday, October 18, 2007

MY FRIEND, MY SISTER HAS GONE AWAY!

MOM2 (Jean) July 8, 1944 - October 17, 2007




I have lost my very best friend and sister and feel so lonely right now. We have known each other since our sons started school, yet became best friends when our sons went off to college. Our common bond was our love for our sons (daughters don't be offended please) and how we relished their accomplishments and shared their pain. As mothers, we could not have been any prouder.

We shopped together, went out to eat, and traveled to Boston to visit family and cruised the Caribbean. So many memories, so much fun, we have mourned the passing of family members and "been there" whenever needed. We even had "sibling" spats (unfortunately this last one lasting 3 months), but ALWAYS got back together as if nothing had happened at all.

My family has dwindled to just myself and kids, and we adopted and were adopted by Jeans large family. Her brother, nieces, nephews, cousins are like my own now. Until Jean's mother passed away a few years ago - she was the matriarch of the family - passing the honor to Jean. She was the glue holding the family together. We hope that we can carry on her love of family and pleasure with friends as well.

Jean's passing came 19 days after being diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer. She had been mis-diagnosed (actually non diagnosed) by her local physician for almost 2 1/2 years. It was only after going to Ohio State University James Cancer Center that the terminal diagnosis was made. All the "I wish we had done this and that sooner" comments mean nothing now. But we all know that once we knew what she was facing, we could have done nothing more than stand by her and love her as always to help her as much as possible. We have no regrets, we were with her at all times till she passed - now we have to deal with such a huge void in our lives. At this moment I am finding this so very hard.

She was by my side when my husband died, she was by my side when my twin sister died - and now I don't have her by my side and I am so lost.

I have so many wonderful memories of our trips, our talks, all our experiences, but it doesn't seem like enough.

Helping rid my basement of water after flooding in '04.

Enjoying the sun in the Caribbean!

Jean and I at her sons Engagement dinner.

As we reached our "mid life crisis", she wanted a nose ring more than anything (a small stud) and truly enjoyed the compliments she received afterwards...then on to the ankle tattoo... which she had copied from a henna tattoo we had done 2 years earlier. She saved the henna copy all that time in her wallet, that was determination.

I can't even begin to list all the things I will miss most, because it is quite lengthy.

There are many past blogs which detail our relationship and too much to say at this point. This is cathartic for me...just wanted to share the beauty of my friend and sister with any who might drop by here.

"DEATH LEAVES A HEARTACHE NO ONE CAN HEAL...LOVE LEAVES A MEMORY NO ONE CAN STEAL!!" from a headstone in Ireland

I can't say anymore....Good bye Jean, my friend forever.

2 comments:

The daughter said...

To live is one thing to love is another. To have both is amazing and that is what you had together, life full of love. We are here for you and so is TheMom2 no matter where you are and you know that. A friendship like you had is something that never dies no matter what. I love you mom.

Anonymous said...

Marie.... My heart goes out to you, zac, chad, russ and all of Jean's family. SHe was an amazing lady!!! She will live on in your stories, and memories of her!! So please share them!

My thoughts, and Prayers are with you all!!

Jane Ann